I milked a cow

It has been a very eventful day. It started off pretty slow. I woke up
at a quarter of six, finally dragged myself out of bed at 8ish, had my
coffee and then read til about noon. Apa called to me and asked if I
was free, which I was, so I helped her make bloshki (twisted bread
rolls) for a few hours, then taught Aidana a new crochet stitch.
Nargiza, (another teacher who also happens to be my director's
daughter and our neighbour) came over. I showed her how to crochet a
few months ago, and she wanted my help to learn a new stitch, too.
This afternoon, I went with Aiculu and Aidana to fetch the cows. In
the winter they stay at home, but the rest of the year, the shepherds
and cowboys take them to the fields for the day. We go to get them to
make sure they come straight home. (it makes the phrase "til the cows
come home" quite literal) We put them in the pen and I helped milk
them! It was so weird! And way, way harder than it looks. My host
sisters and I had a couple of great laughs. Our black cow nearly peed
on us all, and our white cow kicked the bucket and managed to get her
hoof stuck on the rim of the bucket. We fed the calf milk, and Azeez
has to be where everyone else is, so he succeeded in scaring the calf
so that it wouldn't drink, and scaring the sheep so that two jumped
out of the pen. We called Apa to feed the calf and took over watering
the garden, which meant hauling buckets of water out to water the
tomatoes. My poor family. They're gonna starve this winter because I
touched the plants. Just kidding. Hopefully they will dilute the power
of my black thumb. Back in January, I planted a flower. So did my
friend Heidi because she was here visiting. I had told my family about
my black thumb and Ata was determined to correct it, and show that I
could keep a plant alive. I think I even bragged a bit in this blog
about how it was flourishing. It is dead now. Not kidding. I watered
it the right amount, kept it in the right amount of sun, the whole
shebang. The flower that Heidi planted is doing great. Go figure.
Sorry. Random tangent. Anyways. After watering the garden, we named
the three kittens. Myshka (don't ask me what it means in Russia)
frances, and gato. You can guess which name I picked. Then my host
sisters and I tried to figure out a plan for our home-language club. I
want to learn Russian, but my pronunciation is horrible, not to
mention that there is this little thing called "will power" that I
apparently lack when I comes to learning languages, but if I teach
them English and they teach me Russian we will all push each other.
After that Aidana and I crocheted a bit. (I taught her bobbles) and
then Ata came in and wanted to talk which is my usual cue to leave.
Haha. So here I am sitting in my room and typing this blog to you
about my day. I still smell like cow, and my hands are super tired,
but it has been a great day and thought you all deserved to hear about
it.

Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess

p.s. ONE MONTH FROM TODAY I LEAVE FOR AMERICA!

If you believe they put a man on the moon

I know that I have said this multiple times, but it never fails to
amuse me how similar some things are about human nature, regardless of
the country. My host sisters sigh when Ata changes the channel from
MTV to ESPN, and it cracks me up because it's just like when Jordan
and I watched TRL every afternoon after school and dad would come home
and want to watch the history channel or golf or the outdoor channel.
Haha The girls also put off their chores until the last minute, and
turn the TV off when they see a parent walking up to the house and
pretend to have been working diligently. I love my host sisters. My
Apa (whom I adore) is so great. My host dad's personality is too
exuberant for me sometimes and for everyone else, too. At dinner the
other day she said, "Jailoo, how many times are you going to say it?"
I could just read the "good grief" on her face. It was great. She also
has the mama eye. You know what I'm talking about. The look that makes
you quake in your seat because you know you're in for it if you don't
shape up fast. She gave it to Azeez this morning. She told him not to
open the china cabinet and he started to anyway. Then she gave him the
eye and said, "go ahead, open it." And he promptly climbed off the
stool. Love it. He will be four this year (on the fifth of august –
best birthday ever, in my opinion haha) and he's just like every other
spoiled four year old on the planet. He can be super adorable and then
make you wanna wring his neck in less than a minute. He leaves his
toys all over and several times a day you'll hear me or one of my
sisters yell "bleen" (it's like "durn" in Russian) because we've
stepped on a sharp toy. In the past day, I've stood on a car, a toy
whale, and numerous bottle caps (he is practicing chuko- the Kyrgyz
equivalent of marbles but usually played with sheep vertebrae).
Anyways, enough about the family.

I meant to go to the city and stay the night yesterday, but I didn't.
I went to the city to go to the bank and the getting there was so
frustrating it put me in a bad mood. For one, it was cloudy and gross
outside. I stood on the side of the road waiting for a taxi for about
half an hour. Under normal circumstances I would've just walked, but
it had rained so the road was super muddy and it looked like it would
rain again, so I waited. A taxi that was coming into the village and
dropping people off turned around and picked me up, so I climbed into
the back seat and waited. We drove about 200m and picked up the
Russian equivalent of our village's cat lady and then we waited. And
waited. And waited. And of course, about five cars drove past that I
could've hitched with if I hadn't already been sitting in a car.
Usually, I'm okay with the waiting. I've gotten a lot more patient.
But, I wanted to go to the bank before it closed, my Ipod was dead,
the taxi driver was too friendly, and the Russian lady smelled of
cats. And, it had started to rain. So, we finally left the village and
about 5km outside of the city…. The car breaks down. Not kidding.
After about five or ten minutes the driver gets it going again and we
get into the city. And then we stop to get gas. Gas prices have gone
up a bunch since the revolution. The lines are always super long
because so many of the gas stations have closed. Usually, drivers get
gas on the way OUT of the city. We finally got gas and got to the
center. Now, I'm sitting behind the driver in the back of a two door
car, and the Russian lady is sitting beside me with two big bags in
the floor at her feet. There's no one else in the car. We stop in the
center, and instead of the driver getting out, I'm made to climb over
the Russian lady and all her bags. And we all know that I'm not
exactly the most graceful person on the planet. The Russian lady
doesn't get out, or move her bags. She says, "astarozjna," which means
be careful. Thanks so much! Haha So, I practically fall out of the
car, and I hit my head on the door. What a way to arrive! Needless to
say, I was not in the best of moods at this point, so I just went to
the bank, and did some shopping then came back home. But don't worry.
Being in a bad mood is not code for sliding back into the "bad place."
About ten minutes after getting home, putting away my groceries and
putting on my comfy lounge clothes, my mood improved. Then I ate
strawberries, crocheted and talked to my family, and my mood was back
to normal.

The down side of not staying in the city was that I didn't get to have
my skype date with Ciara. So, I called her this morning and had a
lovely chat. What a great way to start a Saturday! She said something
that made me think, about how I won't take things for granted when I
come home. It's true. I have had an easier Peace Corps experience than
some other volunteers, and I really do appreciate what I have, but
there are definitely some things that I will relish when I come home.
For instance, I am really grateful that I get to have coffee in the
mornings. But I will really love not having to chew the grounds when I
have coffee that wasn't made in a p.o.s. coffee press. Haha I really
appreciate being able to do laundry, but I am super excited about the
prospect of dryer sheets and no static cling. I'm super grateful that
we have running water in our house (although some times it is faster
to walk to the pump and fill up a bucket and walk back because the
water pressures is so low), but I am really looking forward to being
able to wash my hair without having to use a bucket. I'm glad the
weather has warmed up, but I can't wait for my hot humid Virginia
summer. (Remind me of this if I have the nerve to complain about heat
when I'm home in July) I'm super excited to spend my summer on the
shores of beautiful Lake Issyk-Kul, but truthfully, I am really
looking forward to seeing my Lake Gaston.

I also talked to Mama, and chatted with Jordan and Dee for a bit on
Facebook. It's been a great day! Granted, it is only 9:30 and I
haven't actually done anything today, but still, the weather is
finally nice, I've got an R.E.M. playlist going, school is out, and
I've got the whole day ahead of me to do whatever I want. (within
reason, of course).
So, I think I'm gonna get to it.

Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess

What a lovely day!

Yesterday and today have actually both been good. Yesterday was one of
the best lazy Sundays that I have had all year. I think I spent maybe
an hour out of bed all day. It was rainy, so I curled up under my
covers and read for most of the day. I took a "little nap" that turned
into a four-hour death nap! And, I didn't even wake up groggy like I
usually do. I crocheted a bit, watched a movie or two, and relaxed. I
needed a restful day. Today, I got up, had coffee, wrote I my journal,
did a pilates workout, cleaned my room, dusted, swept my floor, and
made a delicious egg, onion, and tomato bagel for lunch, Of course,
here, that means I had to make bagels first. MMM garlic and onion
bagels. I don't think I'll ever buy bagels again. They are so easy to
make at home, and taste better than store bought. Whew! I did all of
that and it is just now noon. I'm fixin to go so my laundry (and work
on my tan since I'll be doing it outside) I also might crochet a bit,
since I've got about four half-finished projects to wrap up before
coming home.

I didn't go to school today because tomorrow is the last day of
school, which means that there haven't been classes for the past two
school days because everyone has to prepare for tomorrow's holiday.
I'm really excited about it! (Truthfully, I'm just excited to be
excited about anything again) :-D

Later:
There's nothing like: forgetting that your cell phone AND Ipod are in
your pocket as you're hauling water and spilling all down your front
There's nothing like: the film that develops across the top of your
"clean" water because the bucket you're using to haul water is also
the same bucket used for milking the cows.
There's nothing like: a great, nasty spider falling from a tree into
your clean clothes
There's nothing like: defending yourself with a bucket from the crazy
angry goose that is chasing you
There's nothing like: your four year old brother reporting all of your
actions to your dad: "jess is adding soap," "jess is drinking water."
There's nothing like: getting to the very bottom of the liter of water
you're chugging and then noticing the stuff floating in it
There's nothing like: being lucky enough to have laundry day coincide
with banya day and having the ENTIRE family walk under your panties on
the way to the banya AND getting wood smoke to scent your clothes
In short, there is nothing like laundry day in Kyrgyzstan. Gotta love it!

(here's to hoping this laundry sunburn sinks into a tan)

Miss you tons
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess

Helloooo Beautiful.

I am in a great mood! It has been a while, I know. Maybe it is the
fourth cup of coffee that I'm currently working toward, or my eighth
grade B class all earning fours on the test, or tomatoes being under
100som a kilo, or eggplant coming back in season, or the sunny
weather, or being able to wear skirts and open toed shoes and
t-shirts, or the awesome playlist I'm rocking out to, or maybe because
I haven't taken melatonin to sleep for almost a week. I think the side
effects of it were just too much for me. Depression or not sleeping? I
know which I'd choose. Maybe the combination of all these things is
responsible for my happy mood.

It has been a super rough couple of months, as I'm sure you all have
realized. But I think I am finally back to myself. It's taken a while,
with a lot of false starts, but I think this time it is for good. YAY!

Usually, when I haven't written for a while, I backtrack and try to
catch up on what has been going on, but really? Ew gross. Let's just
not. haha The now is so much better. I'm still working on my GRE prep,
but I'm going to try to avoid the "big words" in this blog. Haha (ly
jck) I realized that I'm taking the GRE's in July and that is coming
up super fast. I'm only SIX WEEKS away from my visit home! How
exciting is that!?!? I have to finish this week of school, and give
exams three days next week and then I'm done with school until
September. I wanted to do clubs, but exams go on until the 25th of
June and I'm leaving that day, so no clubs until I come back in
August. So. June, my dear, whatever shall I do with you? I'm going to
try to find a grant to get textbooks for next year, work on
presentations about Kyrgyzstan that I will do when I get home, and try
not to tire myself out too much going to the lake with my sisters. :-D

My plans to go to Osh to help Heidi with her camp got nixed. Going to
Osh for camps is now off limits due to the whole
"going-through-a-revolution" thing. I think I will do a bit more local
travel instead. I've traveled to all the oblasts already, so I think
I'll stick closer to home and maybe visit the new volunteers on day
trips. I think it'll be fun to go to other villages.

Well, I'm gonna go enjoy the pretty weather!
See you in six weeks!

Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan!
Jess

More of the same

What a month it has been so far. And it is only the fifth day. In the
first three days, I hit my head on a low hanging pipe, a door frame,
and a shelf. Talk about a perpetual headache that won't abate.
Saturday, the first, was the Kyrgyz Labor day so there was no school.
And there is no school today because it is also a holiday. Also, the
9th is a holiday, so there is no school on the tenth. Classes end the
twenty-fifth, and then there is a month of exams. I only have to give
one exam during that entire month, but I can't do clubs or camps then
because the kids are still working. So, I need to find something
(other than going to the lake) to pass the time until the end of June.
I might try to write a grant to get textbooks for my school. I'm
already excited for next school year. I dropped the bomb on my ninth
graders that I am not going to teach them next year. They were pretty
upset. I really like my students, but the majority of the ninth
graders don't really want to learn, are loquacious, and don't pay
attention, so I feel like I could be more useful teaching the rising
fifth graders next year because they are really enthusiastic. When I
told them I wasn't going to teach them next year, they were all like,
"we'll do better, we'll study, we'll do our homework," but they've
been saying that all year, and they haven't really improved. I will
continue to conduct clubs, so the kids that really want extra English
practice can get it, but I'm working on eliminating my stressors, and
I think this might be a small improvement. Other stressors I can't
really do anything about, so I take what I can.

I sometimes feel as if some of the changes I've made here aren't
necessarily for the better always. I used to be a really nice person,
I've even been called "sweet" on occasion, but I think I have gotten
really rude here, by my personal standards. Examples? I am abstemious
when it comes to eating with my host family. I only eat dinner with
them. We've had this system for almost a year. My host sisters and
host mom are great about it. If they offer me tea, or food, and I say,
"no thanks," they let it go. Not my host dad. He is a really friendly
man, but his officious ways are really beginning to irk my nerves. He
will ask me to come drink tea, or eat, and I will politely decline,
but he continues to push. So, my options are to eat what he offers,
whether I want it or not (the problem with this is that my guileless
face shows my frustration and makes it awkward), or repeat my polite
refusal fifty-eleven times, or be laconic, say no thank you, and walk
away. My host dad has been at home, not working elsewhere for a while
now, and it seems like the whole house is tenser. He is so austere
with the girls. When he is absent, we talk and I sit with the family
and socialize, but when he is here, there is too much pressure and I
become reticent. He wants to turn every conversation into a lesson of
some sort, and it makes it hard to retain my equanimity, so I become
blunt in speech and it makes me feel rude. I also feel impolite when I
do my shopping or banking, or even when I get on marshrukas! I guess
I've integrated because when I do my shopping, I just ask the
salesperson how much something costs, even if they are occupied with
someone else, because if I don't I will never get service. Same at the
bank, I can be just as pushy as the ejes to get to the counter. I used
to wait politely, but the concept of orderly lines just isn't part of
the culture here.

All the holidays have caused me to have even more free time than I
used to. So, I've been filling up the time with GRE prep (notice the
pompous word usage so far haha), and antiquing (I found an antique
Sputnik III commemorative fountain pen, and I've been practicing
calligraphy), reading, and cooking. Jordan had to make a comment about
"having tacos at the parentals," so I decided to make them for myself.
Let me walk you through that process. It took two days! I had to soak
the beans overnight, then cook the beans, mash the beans, sauté
onions, and then make refried beans. I had to make tortilla shells by
hand, chop up all the vegetables to make salsa, and grate cheese. It
took forever! It is kinda nice though that basically everything I eat
here is organic, and tastes better than the easier, store bought
stuff.

I know some of you are still worried about me, and my post-breakdown
mental health, haha. I'm doing much better. Not great, but a lot
better. I haven't cried in days! unless you count Jordan sending me a
really sweet song that made me cry, and cutting up onions. Haha

My blogs have gotten less frequent and probably more random… because
life here hasn't really been super exciting. I supposed I've just
gotten used to it

Can't wait til July!
Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess