Wednesday, February 24, 2010

If it snows again, I will probably cry.

I haven't written in a few days mostly due to the fact that nothing
has happened for a few days. Don't believe me? The most noticeable
things of the past week:
I got a package from home with starbucks Christmas blend coffee and
made a home made latte.
About half of my classes got cancelled or rearranged last week because
of our decathlon.
Yesterday was a holiday: "Defenders of the Fatherland Day," or "Man's Day."
I almost finished with the crocheted blanket for heidi—my second in country.
I cracked my host dad up by cheering for the US hockey team rather
enthusiastically.
The big news: It rained! This means that it is warm enough to not
snow. My roads are now slush, but I can deal with that.
And the main reason that I am writing today was because something
happened today. I caused an uproar at school How did I do this? I wore
shoes (flats) instead of boots. And I wore tights instead of thermals.
It wasn't a big uproar, but all the teachers asked me "aren't you
cold?" or "where are your boots?" "aren't you gonna get sick?" but my
favorite came from apa "Are you crazy?" haha Today is sunny and warm
(mind you that my descriptions of warm and cold are COMPLETELY
different from what they once were- by "warm" of course, I mean "I can
walk the 200M to the school without becoming a human ice cube on the
way.") I am not going to get sick from wearing flats instead of boots,
not when I'm outside for such a short period of time. And leaving the
house without thermals was amazing! I'd forgotten what that felt like.
Of course, being completely honest, the fact that the shoes in
question were red, might have contributed to the uproar a wee bit
since they are so noticeable. Yes, I bought red shoes in Kyrgyzstan.
They are my favorite pair that I have bought in country, and yes, that
implies that I have bought more than one pair of shoes here. shuddup.
I guess that the PC has not cured my shoe fetish haha.

That really is all that I have to say. I fear we might have reached
the point in my service where blogs become less frequent because
nothing exciting is happening. We shall see…

Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess

Sunday, February 14, 2010

14 February 2010

Happy Valentine’s Day! – Jordan, you’ll have to call me or write me a long email about your weekend. I want to know how many times you and Kris fell down your first time snowboarding!

This is the “I had a slumber party, and it was awesome and I love everything” blog.
I realize that my last blog was quite miserable, almost humorously so. After I wrote it, I put on my pjs and watched Anastasia. I was feeling much better, and then my host sister came and got me and told me that the teachers at school needed me. So, I got dressed and went to school. There was a visiting delegation of directors from other schools and they wanted to see me. I went to school and saw them, and they complimented our classroom. The teachers and my director wanted me to sit and have tea with the visiting directors, but I was in no mood to be on display, thank you very much. So, I hung out in with the teachers who were serving tea. After the directors left, my teachers and I all had tea. We chatted for a bit, and then I came home. On the way home, I ran into a tree. I was walking with my head down, watching out for ice, since I had already fallen once that day and BAM… I walked right into a tree. I guess you could say that it, quite literally, knocked some sense into me. Haha I’ve been in a better mood since then.

I woke up this morning to one of sunniest, blue sky days we have had in quite some time; maybe that has something to do with my fantastic mood. The past few days have been considerably better. I guess I should go in chronological order starting with the slumber party from last week, skipping the bad days and finishing with this morning.

So.
The slumber party… was awesome. Granted it was very overwhelming with 15 girls descended on my house all at once. (I was thinking they would trickle in, but they all met up and came together) The 15 girls, plus my 4 host sisters, brother, apa, ata, counterpart, another teacher, and I made a big crowd. I have found that teenage girls are most resourceful and are best handled by being left to their own devices. Of course, here “their own devices” almost always ends up with a disco-tech, so our hall was turned into a dance party for a while and I was roped into re-teaching the cha-cha slide for the girls who were not at the last club. (shuddup Jordan) after which, the girls had a tea and cookie break. They all brought cookies, and I made about 10 dozen oatmeal cookies due to an error in our PC cookbook (I don’t want to go into detail because it makes me feel like an idiot. 6 cups of butter, honestly!) anyways. Teenager sure can eat! We had our tea break at around 7ish, so I decided to push the pizza dinner back until 9-9:30ish since it turned out that all the girls got permission to stay until the morning and no one had to leave early. I had intended on having all the girls help make pizza, but I reevaluated trying to avoid an anxiety attack on my part. 17 girls in our little kitchen would have been WAY too many. So I enlisted the help of the two 11th grade girls, my two youngest sisters and my counterpart and we made pizzas. I always end up making too much food when I cook for big groups (enchiladas in Norfolk as an example haha) and figured “hey! We can just have cold pizza for breakfast” – wrong. After we ate, I led a game of three round charades. I took a while to get the rules across –the second round where they could only say one word was particularly hard for most of them. And the third round they had to act out each other, me and my counterpart, along with every fruit and vegetable haha. (They weren’t very creative with the first time of picking words) Then we had another dance party, they girls played some games, and I got bullied (teenage girls are quite demanding haha) into reading tarot cards for every single girl (and my host dad haha) right after I started the power went out, so I read tarot cards by candlelight, which I thought added to the scene, although my use of two different dictionaries to translate the little book probably detracted from it. Tarot card reading, Uno, B.S, and Egyptian ratscrew carried us until about 2am. Then we put in “27 Dresses” on my computer for the girls to watch. Only about 5 girls made it through without falling asleep. The others said “we’re just gonna lay down, not sleep, until the power comes back on.” So from 3 to about 5:30 most of the girls slept. And of the course the ones that didn’t sleep were ruthless. Haha every girl that slept got drawn on with lipstick. I felt kinda bad ( I mean, it was my lipstick haha) but hey, girls will be girls, and who am I to detract from their fun. Especially if I’m being kept awake all night. And I’m sure a number of illicit calls to and from boys on friends’ cell phones occurred, but they were harmless. (I had to adamantly refuse about six boys at school the day before who begged to come) The power came back on at about 5:30 and we made friendship bracelets and listened to music until about seven, when we had tea again with the rest of the cookies (the left over pizza disappeared in the night.) and at 8ish when it got light outside, the girls went home. My two oldest sisters and I promptly passed out. I slept til noon and was the first to rise. All the feedback was positive and the girls have already asked when the next one will be. I told them “anan” which means “later” and gets me off the hook for some time.

Skipping over the ghastly next few days and jumping around: (I think I’ll just do this in bullets and say all the good stuff from the past few days and this morning)

-My oldest host sister has started eating around the meat in her food, something I am saved from doing because Apa does it for me. The resulting “discussion” reminded me so forcibly of the same conversation I had with my Mama in high school, when I did the same thing that it made me laugh and want to cry at the same time. (but in a good way)
-I agreed to chaperone the Valentine’s Day party yesterday so the kids could have it, and was forced to be on a jury for the contest. It was a lot of fun, even if I did freeze half to death.
-I finally figured out how to knit a week or so ago, and last night apa taught me the kyrgyz way of knitting. I’m gonna attempt a scarf once I finish crocheting the blanket for heidi.
-My youngest host sister turned down a trip to the city with my parents this morning so she could stay home and bake cookies with me. (I’m going to attempt apple tarts this afternoon. Wish me luck)
-I did my weekly change of thermals this morning and decided to not put any back on. So, for the first time since October, I’m not wearing thermals at the moment. And not because it is particularly warm, mind you, I just realized that I’d forgotten what it feels like to not wear them.
-Granted, after I went outside to do my weekly hang-up of my sheets, it took the better part of half and hour for my lower extremities to thaw out. It is sunny today, so I am going to pretend that my sheets are going to be clean when I bring them in. I haven’t been able to wash them in a while because I only have the one pair and it takes at least a week for anything to dry all the way on the line, so I make do with hanging them outside to air out and to beat the dust off of them once a week. It continually surprises me how much dust accumulates in my room. My window doesn’t open, so it is really hard to air out my room in the winter, and it seems like I dust my room every day. It isn’t surprising really, that I have a perpetually stuffy nose. I need a heap-filter. I’m rambling.
-My rice cooker has surpassed itself with awesomeness. I have made rice, beans, lentils, noodles, and oatmeal. Delish.
-I’m slowly (very slowly) learning to play the guitar. It has been difficult to find a downloadable pdf file for help. I’ve found ones that just cover reading music, and ones that have something to do with “tabs” but it is kinda hard to teach yourself with a book. It was the same with knitting. Jenn sent me that fantastic teach-yourself-to-knit-book, but it wasn’t until Holo showed me that I really got it. I think the guitar might be the same way. Luckily, a good number of the volunteers know how to play. I guess I’m what all my training books call a “tactile learner.” Haha
- I just realized that I’m on page three, so I think this qualifies as enough positive to make up for the negativity of the last blog.

Miss you!
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

10 February 2010

This is not going to be a happy blog. This blog might not even be pleasant. So, if you are accustomed to, and want the “everything is wonderful” blog; I suggest that you stop reading now and wait a bit for the “I had a slumber party, and it was awesome and I love everything” blog. This isn’t it.

If you’re still reading, sorry. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. This has been a down week. And not the “I’m kinda sad - borderline depressed - mopey – missing America – feel like crying a lot” down that I’ve experience a few times. This down is new and different. This down is the “i.hate.everything – am in a really pissy mood – am beginning to believe that certain people were placed on this earth for the sole purpose of irritating me” down. I kinda feel like Jordan on a bad day. haha (jk sis, ly) I’m not sure what brought it on, but there you go. And, I’m stuck with the problem of how to deal with it. I am the type of person that needs to vent. But I’m also the type of person that doesn’t want to inflict my moodiness on anyone else. It is different if I have a problem, and need advice, or am feeling down and need a pick-me-up. I just don’t want to inflict this nasty mood on anyone else. So I can’t call anyone. Also, I don’t want to write in my journal or blog about the particulars of my bad mood, because in a few years, I don’t want to remember this. I don’t want one week of snarkiness to color 10 months of mostly good days. I want to remember the “I am doing something productive, and helpful, and having a great time” weeks. I don’t want to remember the “I will rip your face off if you so much as look at me” weeks. Haha. So, (and I’m not exactly proud of this, but hey…) I made a list. “big surprise” you might say, haha. I made a list of “Everything I Hate Today.” Then, I went outside and lit it on fire. Haha. It was the best I could do because all my other coping mechanisms are out. I would practice my new guitar, but I’m not in the right frame of mind for patience and might go rock star and destroy something, and I’d regret that later. I could knit (now that I’ve FINALLY gotten the hang of it) but knitting needles would make too convenient of a weapon. (and to paraphrase my favorite sister here, ‘I’d stab someone’s eye out, and happily go to jail, where I would sit and giggle imagining them in a pirate eye patch’) and if knitting is out because of maybe using needles as a weapon, there is no way I’m going to let myself cook anything that involves knives. This is what the PC has done to me haha. I’ve gone from pacifist, to imagining stabbing someone with knitting needles. (just in case any prospective PCVs are reading this, I’m just kidding about the stabbing thing. Mostly haha) I knew this would happen eventually. In fact, it is just about right on time with the “what to expect” paper that PC gave us. For some reason, this does not really help and it irritates me... haha

I did wash dishes, which helped a little bit. I also attempted an unsuccessful walk, but it is snowing (go figure) and I fell down. Again (go figure again) So, in an a last bitter attempt, I’m going to put on my new sock monkey footie pajamas (courtesy of the totally amazing jenn) and crawl under the covers, try to get warm, read a book, and maybe do a crossword to take my mind off of stuff. All of which will probably lead to a nap, after which, I might attempt to bake something (with no knives haha)

If you stuck through this bog of negativity, keep an eye out for the next blog about the slumber party which will be full of sunshine and roses. (pending me not stabbing anyone’s eye out and ending up in jail. Haha jk)

Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
j

Friday, February 5, 2010

I having a sneaking suspicion that a) we are in an accelerated time warp or b) God is playing with the time just to mess with us :-)

My lovely sister posted a blog of notes to herself for the first few days of February. I thoroughly enjoyed it at thought I would borrow her idea and do my own. This is a lists of things I have learned so far in February. (or relearned, as it may be):

1.note to self: the absorbance of notebook paper as tp is negligible. Always carry tissue.
2.note to self: do not laugh when a student says a word in kyrgyz that sounds dirty in English, because then you have to explain why you laughed. (I won’t write it here, because of some of the delicate eyes that read this, but if you really wanna known, ask me to say mud in kyrgyz)
3.note to self: never squeeze the air out of a bag of flour.
4.note to self: when translating songs in an English club, be sure to not let your students pick the most irritating song in the universe because you have to listen to it about fifty eleven times to translate it.
5.note to self: find a better way to avoid watching animals get slaughtered. If you cover your eyes at that part in the video of your uncle’s wedding, you will never, ever live it down and your host father will tell everyone you know, and they will laugh at you.
6.note to self: “vegetarian” food does not always mean “vegetarian.”
7.note to self: stop falling down
8.note to self: when you unplug the cell phone that you use for internet before it disconnects and your computer gets the blue screen of death.. twice… don’t do it again
9.note to self: know who you are, and who people refer to you as. If you ignore a three year old when they say “desda” (jessika) they will just keep saying it louder until you realize that they are talking to you.
10.note to self: if it looks like poop, it is probably poop. No further investigation needed.
11.note to self: don’t spill cocoa powder.
12.note to self: find a way to remove spilled cocoa powder from carpet.
13.note to self: if 9th grade boys are in a group laughing hysterically, they can not possibly be up to any good.
14.note to self: if you burn your sisters a cd of music, make sure you like the music because they will play it nonstop. (the twilight soundtrack)
15.note to self: if water is frozen, pee is too. be careful in the outhouse.

Hope you enjoyed that. As a side note, I wanted to make an observation of something that struck me today. You do not necessarily have to know something to be able to teach it. For example, you all know that I can not carry a tune in a bucket, yet I taught 9 classes Christmas carols. And the metaphor to describe my dancing skills has yet to be uttered, but did I not just spend the last hour teaching my girls’ club how to dance. Watching Footloose with my host sisters was a bad idea, they have been pestering me to teach them American dances ever since. So, today I taught them the electric slide and the cha-cha slide. Mind you the last time I danced to either of them was at Sarah’s wedding, and that was how long ago? Oh well, it was the most appropriate American dance that I could do, and they seemed to really enjoy it.

I’m getting ready for our slumber party tomorrow, so wish me luck! (later today, actually)

Miss you
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
j

Monday, February 1, 2010

randomness of this week

It is only monday and this is already a great week. A lot better than last monday anyway.

Here are a few random things:

1. Holy cow! It is February. When did this happen?
2. I am getting taken advantage of, and I love it. My girls' club girls have convinced me that we need a slumber party, a valentine's day party, and a monthly dance party. (i talked that one down from a weekly idea)
3. Teachers' English Club on Monday. Two English clubs on Tuesday, Girl's Club on Wednesday, and knitting circle on Friday. I'm doing it again.... I need to learn to say know, but I like saying yes too much.
4. One of my ninth grade boys came to school holding a rag to his eye that he wouldn't take off. While I was talking to my Zavuch, he came in and asked if he could go home early because his eye hurt. We asked him what happened, and made him show us. He had a spectacular black eye that was swollen shut. We asked him again, what happened, and he most unwillingly told us that his sister punched him. His sister is my favorite 11th grade girl. I love it! It has been cracking me up all day how embarrassed he was that his sister blacked his eye.
5. I'm teaching my host aunt to make cinnamon rolls tomorrow. mmmm
6. My host dad told me that the weather is starting to get warmer. It was only -20 today. ONLY. MINUS. TWENTY. sigh...
7. I found a yellow bell pepper today at the bazaar. The biggest problem I am facing in my life right now is trying to decide how to eat it. Life is good.

miss you
love from Kyrgyzstan.
jess

i'm too tired to think of a whitty title.

29 January 2010

My host sisters and I stayed up late talking one day this week and the idea was born that we should have a slumber party with the girls from the girls’ club. This one little event has really made me think. Here are my thoughts, they are random and odd, but there you are:

Kyrgyzstan has completely cured me of my fear of public speaking. If I can stand in front of a group of girls and facilitate a discussion on problem solving, in a language that I do not know that well, speaking in front of a group of people in my native language should never be a problem again.

While Kyrgyzstan has cured me of one problem, it has given me another. My girls’ club, I fear, is going to give me ego problems. My girls told me that they wanted me to teach them how to dress and how to do their makeup. I responded that I do not know how to dress or how to do makeup. I mean, I do my own makeup and can usually match clothes, but that is about it. They told me (in a polite way) that I was being crazy. “Just show us how to do our make up like you do yours, and how to dress like you.” Wow. I know that the simple fact that I am an American puts me on a pillar of “cool,” so most of it has nothing to do with me, but still. Can you understand how hard I am going to have to try to not let what they say to me affect me? Haha

I am a control freak. Duh. Anyone who knows me knows that. What has changed is the scope and spectrum of my control. In a place where I have little to no control over my surroundings, I have surrendered control of the big things. I go with the flow. I am much more spontaneous and open to new things. “There is no water”. Okay, I do not even ask why anymore. “We are not having class today because the teachers are going to a party.” Okay, when are we leaving? “We are two lessons behind in almost all of our classes.” We’ll just rearrange it. Oh well. But, I am disappointed in myself to realize that I am still clinging to control over the small things. This slumber party, for example:

-I asked my host father if we could have the slumber party at our house. He gave permission. And then, without asking or talking to me, he had a meeting at school with my director and the two vice-principals and talked out the slumber party. Without me. I knew that I would have to talk with my director and get permission from the girls’ parents and all the administrative crap. My host dad just wanted to help. But sometimes he is helpful to the point of being overbearing. I know that I should not be upset about him wanting to help, but the fact that he took control of the slumber party irked my nerves. So I guess I still have a ways to go until I can surrender my control freakiness.

Due to the meeting with the director, I now have to submit a plan of what we will do at the slumber party. I really was not planning on putting that much work into it. We were planning on making pizza and then just letting the girls hang out and have fun and do what they want to do (within reason). I talked to my host sisters last night and told them that I didn’t want to write a plan because I didn’t want the party to be structured; I wanted them to do what they want to do. The advice my oldest sister gave: well, just write the plan and give it to the director, and then we’ll just do what we want anyway. Who else but a fifteen year old could give such advice? Haha

Also due to the meeting with the director, my counterpart is now planning on participating. I told her before that she could not come to the clubs because if she is there the girls won’t talk openly. I really like my counterpart, but you can see how her presence at a slumber party might dampen the spirit of things. My host sisters helped with that solution, too. There are several girls whose parents won’t give them permission to stay out past eightish. The solution is that they should come, eat pizza, and then go home, and since a number of them live near my counterpart, she can go home with them. Problem solved.

I never realized how much of a feminist I am, until I came to Kyrgyzstan. Maybe it is because even though there is gender discrimination in the states, it never really personally affected me it a huge way. Here, I deal with it every day. I was talking to my counterpart yesterday and she told me that she would have to ask her husband’s permission to come to our slumber party. Not, I have to talk with him about it, but I have to ask for his permission. I was shocked, and it made me angry for her, but she didn’t have a problem with it because it is just the way things are. I hate that “the ways things are” is an excuse for inequality to continue.

I have been making an effort to spend more time with my host sisters. It has paid off in spades. They talk to me now. Really talk, openly. This is something that they can not do with any of the adults in their lives. This has lead to two new thoughts:
1. I can see the advantages of having a big family, and maybe one day might want one. I KNOW! I still can’t believe it myself. Truthfully, there are days when my little brother is being an obnoxious little demon and I return to my “never-ever having-children” stance. Haha
2. I am not sure how I feel about being a role model. My sisters and the girls’ in my club look up to me. That is a lot of responsibility. I do not think I like it. haha It makes me feel like everywhere I go I have to be on my best behavior, not only because I stick out like a sore thumb and am a Peace Corps volunteer “24-7,” but also because I don’t want to let my girls’ down. Being someone that people look up to is hard work.

We did a lesson on crocheting in our girls’ club today. The girls have been asking them to teach them to crochet since they first learned that I made one of my own scarves. Having a hobby that is borderline productive gets me so many cool points with the teaching staff. I’m not a completely useless human being, after all. Hahaha We might start a knitting circle or crocheting circle. That way, the girls and I can just get together and work on our own projects and talk. They don’t really get a chance to just hang out and talk. They pretty much just go to class, and then go home. Any chance that I get to create an open atmosphere for dialogue, I am going to take. In Kyrgyz, crochet circle translates to “cruchok crujok,” which sounds funny and makes me laugh. But lately, a lot of things have made me laugh. I guess it is the side effect of a good mood?

I just crossed over to the third page, so I will spare you the other, more random thoughts that are running through my mind.

Miss you.
Love from Kyrgyzstan,
Jess